Forgiveness
It’s easier to forgive than to forget. Maybe this is because the
lessons learned choose to be remembered. This does not have
to pose a problem as long as the forgiveness is genuine.
Forgiveness and love are closely related. Both require and
return the same feelings. Neither can be forced. Most people
are happy to learn to love; we must be equally happy to learn to
forgive. “He who is without sin cast the first stone” is my motto.
Another motto is “love to forgive, forgive to love”. There is not
one person among us who does not need forgiving in some
form or another. If we start forgiving now, it’s possible to forgive
all before our time is up. “What if I don’t choose to forgive” is
probably the question. What if you’re never forgiven is the
answer. Do you want to be a lonely nomad?
We have to stay away from the belief that forgiveness is a
weakness. It is a strength greater than most imagine. The two
greatest gifts that one can give to another are love, and
forgiveness.
The hardest part of forgiveness is believing one has to forget.
A better way to think of it is “remembering”. Remember that we
are human. We are prone to making bad judgments. Being
human relies on the fact that we require forgiveness. We have
had to be forgiven since our existence. Forgiving is nothing
new. Remember when we were young, and we had a
disagreement with a friend; the very next day we enjoyed each
others company like nothing ever happened. Somewhere in our
aging we must have grown bitter. We don’t seem to forgive that
way anymore. The circumstances did not change, but we must
have. Seems growing old kills us in more ways than one. The
time a person has the right to stop forgiving will be the same
time he/she no longer needs to be forgiven. Once a person has
asked for forgiveness, it’s time to “remember”. Remember why
you asked for forgiveness in the first place. Remember that
someone has been offended. Remember that you truly
apologized, and last but not least, remember that you should
not ever make that mistake again. If you remember these
things, you’ll find that forgiving will be easier for the one who
was offended. Once a person forgives, it’s also time to
remember. Remember that we are only human. Remember
that you have probably offended someone in the past.
Remember that forgiving is not a weakness, but a strength, and
last but not least, remember how you forgave when you were a
child.
From my book: The Shade Tree Philosopher
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